Checked out

Complaining about spending too much money sound familiar at your home. Someone always gets the blame. Many times it is the mother or wife who is blamed. The husband wants to see exactly where all the money is going. My money goes for other people. I buy very few things for myself. My checkbook consists of groceries, cheerleading, braces, gymnastics, school lunches, school project money, quarterback club, church money, quick meals on the run because of football practice or too little time to cook. I am one of the few moms who cooks at least 4 times a week. I drive an older car 1996. I have old furniture. I do not spend money on my hair. I don't go on shopping trips with friends. I don't buy new clothes. I don't require fancy gifts or packages on special occasions. Money is the greatest destroyer of intimacy and friendship in a marriage. Couples fight over what they don't have or what is already purchased. Men complain that the wife spends too much on groceries. Women complain that the man spends too much on hobbies. It is easy to see how things fall apart. Couples don't stay connected with where the money is going. Then the words fly out, the anger is spent, and feelings damaged. My mother always paid the bills in my home. I remember my dad always fussing at her about the grocery bill. She always wanted her pantry full. My mother very seldom cried; however , she did cry when the sofa fabric was the wrong color. It wasn't even about the color as much as the hurt she felt for spending the money. I remember vividly my dad never said a word to her about the sofa, he knew. It is easy to fuss and fight over the facts and figures, I just want my checkbook to be honest, fair, with no hidden agendas, that says I care more for others than myself.