On call, coming home, my day, welcome mat

Being on call is so hard to describe to people who have never done it. As a surgical nurse I am required to stay until the work is done, hoping the phone doesn't call me back during the night. As I have gotten older and have a family, call is so much more difficult. While I enjoy my work, I always want to go home when my shift is complete. Coming home has many meanings. Being the youngest of 4 children I would to wait at the window and watch for my siblings to come home from college for the weekend. I missed them. My mother always had their favorite meal cooked and waiting, then we sat around the table to hear about their days. I remember when my brother went off to vietnam, and I saw my mom cry for the first time. I remember how she wrote to him without fail, telling him how she was waiting for him at home. My dad and my brother did not see eye to eye so he quickly joined the army and broke my mom's heart. You see my dad made it uncomfortable for my brother to come home. He had made bad grades in college so he flunked out. Because we were so tight financially, he felt he had no where else to go. Even though my brother's love for our mom was very strong, he chose to leave rather than face failure with my dad. I remember when my mom found out Jim was coming home after 15 months on a helicopter in Vietnam. She was overjoyed. The welcome mat was out. The kitchen was busy. His bedroom prepared. And we were ready. Comfort. Coming home isn't the same for everyone. People come home to a mean spouse, waiting to attack, accuse, abuse, or lash out. The welcome mat maybe on the front porch but it isn't real. Coming home to some is finally making it to the driveway without killing someone. Being able to navigate the road while blinded with drink. Why bother? Home is such a cherished place when love is found. Opening the door realizing someone is waiting for you on the other side. Someone who cares. My daughter was sitting on the front porch when I arrived last night and she so sweetly asked me, "how was your day, mom?" A real home pulls at you and at the end of the day is the soft place to land. Coming home is not a competition between who did the most work for the day. Many stay at home moms work much harder than given credit. Feeling appreciated. Showing affection. Caring enough to ask about one's day. No defenses, just geniune concern. Feeling welcome in your own home, missed, waiting for one to return. Coming home. No welcome mat can replace this.