Monday, August 08, 2005

Is it ever good enough?

My husband and I were working in the yard yesterday. He was trimming the edges and I was blowing the grass from the sidewalks and street. We are trying to keep everything in good shape for selling. I like things done just right and perfect. I of course cannot run the trimmer so I must settle for the job my husband does which is really very good. As we walked across the yard he commented on my perfectionism and that I would notice each blade of grass not trimmed. Not so. Earlier that day he was telling me that whatever he did, it would never really be good enough. Well, just what does that mean? Never good enough. What do I want? I want him to cherish me. I want to feel necessary to him. I want his friends to know how much he loves me. I want him to make definite times for us to share, not just the ordinary stuff that we have to do together. I want to feel that I am never forgotten no matter what and no matter where. I want him to protect me and care about what I am involved in. I want him to sit close to me when he could sit far away. I want him to stop and touch me just because I am in the room. I want him to love me more than any other person in the world. I want him to feel uncomfortable thinking about life without me. I sound vain, spoiled, high-maintence, and demanding don't I? So, what do I give him? Everything. Time passes and the precious moments are stolen with schedules, agendas, work and hobbies. Tenderness replaced with calloused skin from the wear of the world. One forgets what it took to make this relationship worth keeping and special. Too much work you may be thinking. Not enough time. Too many other things to do. Well, maybe she knows, what good enough is. She has felt it, seen it, heard it, cherished it and knows it was good enough.

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