Don't forget your manners, put the cellphone down.

I was highly offended last night. After my daughter had been gone from home since 8am, she plopped into my car at 10pm, texting on her cellphone. I waited for a few minutes, asked her a few questions of which she was unable to answer until she completed her text message. I suddenly realized I was not doing her a favour by allowing this behaviour to continue. So....I promptly reminded her how rude this was and I would like her to put her phone away so we could catch up on her day. Now, many of you parents are probably thinking what is wrong with ME? Of course she reacted subbornly, my trait, and with much fussing and fuming put her phone away. I explained to her the importance of conversation with spoken words versus typed words. Texting has taken over the ability for young people to speak face to face and then wait for another person's response. She was too tired to continue the teaching lesson so I decided I would talk to her about it the next day. As I turned out the lights for bedtime she apologized and said she would do better next time. When I picked her up from school today, I suggested a Sonic trip, I had motive for wanting to talk to her. I explained that I felt responsible for teaching her politeness and manners with a cellphone. I also told her I was hurt that our time was going to be dominated by another conversation she could have ended when she entered the car. It mattered to me to spend a few minutes with her, just her, without interruptions. She sipped on her peach tea and smiled. I saw her eyes dance with the stubborn humor of "mom I can't believe you are so silly about talking to me." I knew at that moment I had gotten through. The will melted just enough to see my side and consensus was made. She knows that I know that it matters what she and I decide together what is acceptable for politeness with her cellphone. WE decided together with face to face, heart to heart conversation. No text, real words.