So what do I do now?

This is my first official day of being unable to work because of my knee. Because of the physical demands of my nursing job, I can't fulfill the duties of my job description safely, either for myself or my patient. I feel strange. I feel somewhat numb. I have worked since age 10. At that time, I realized my mom couldn't handle the stress or our laundry. I started washing my own clothes. I remember push mowing our yard. It was either me or my mom, after my brother was gone to college. My dad raised an enormous garden that required hours of his time and then the endless vegetables to can, freeze and eat became more than my mom could manage. So I sit here this morning in sort of shock. I worked up until our babies were born. I returned to work quickly. I have always felt the pressure to provide, be dependable, just to simply be something. Today, I am a searching for the comfort in this time off. I have worked with people who thought of various surgeries to have, especially during the holidays or summer season, inorder to have time-off. So what do I do now? I am going to wait for God to show me the beauty in this injury and my imposed time-off. I am going to be a stay at home mom for three months, something I have never known. I am going to do exactly what the doctor tells me to heal my knee and I feel certain somewhere along the way, through the long days, I will find everything I need to work through this event and come out on the other side with a totally different view of my purpose. That's what I am going to do and somehow I am going to enjoy it.