Sending them off to college.

Several of our friends have been doing the "take your graduate to college thing." This is such a bittersweet time as a parent, I have heard. On the one hand, you are thrilled they have been successful thus far in their short life and desire to continue their pathway to success. On the other hand, the thought of your child, leaving the home, being gone at night, staying weekends for ballgames, well my stomach turns over writing about this stuff. Most of my conversations have been with mothers getting their daughters ready for the college step. From matching comforters to coordinating pillows and lofts, I have heard the midnight Walmart and Target stories. One dad said, "at 11:30 pm I am standing in line at Walmart in Knoxville and wondering why, madder than the law should allow because I had been up since 4am, but it's all been worth it." Let me tell you something parents. Many times we do our boys an injustice because we assume it isn't as important to them. We may think we are teaching independence by not offering as much involvement in their lives, but in my heart I think this is dead wrong. Our society is causing mothers to feel threatened when we want to offer some of this type of mothering to our boys. Society says for us to let them go, be strong, take risks, be confident, don't ask directions, don't read instructions and certaintly let them pack their own car and take off to college. Why? Because the world says, men who need help are weak. I think there must be a bond between a son and his mother. I think a boy can overcome a poor father relationship easier than a strained one from his mother. We mothers teach compassion to our sons. We teach concern for others. We offer love for the wounded. We show affection through hugs, notes of encouragement. We give support by making their favorite meal and chocolate chip cookies. When our son makes his final decision for college, I'll be there. We will shop for nice dorm stuff. I will make sure he has what he needs. His dad will help carry the heavy stuff and pack a "tight trunk." We will spend the day setting up his dorm room, making last minute checklists and runs to Walmart. We may not be so worried about matching comforters and such, but he will know it matters to us for him to comfortable, have what he needs and if he needs us to run to Walmart at 11:30, that first night, we will be standing in line.