"Can't I just be a Senior?"

With our son quickly approaching his graduation date, hard to believe, I have learned something very vital and important from him as his mother and parent. As we parents do, we compare our teenagers to others and such. We have had discussions about taking more community college courses so he can get a jump start on his freshman year. I have heard from other parents, " he/she has 30 credit hours, he/she will be entering college as a sophomore." I started questioning my parenting skills. Wondering if I should not have pushed if not shoved our son into submission regarding this getting ahead formula for college, when suddenly I was given a life lesson. During a mother-son conversation...our son said to me, "mom what if I don't want to be a sophomore, yet, I just want to be a freshman like I am supposed to me." It was like a bowl of cold water hitting me in the face. I was falling into the bigger, faster, smarter, stuff we parents fall into because of the pressure to succeed. I was suddenly embarrassed to be having such a discussion. What was I thinking? Our 17 year old son is still just that. He isn't an adult, yet. Even with his mature decisions, he is still not a grown up. And actually, I should not even want him to be because 17 year old young people are still suppose to be children in many ways. As we continued our talk, I was so thankful to have been listening. I heard his heart. I heard HIS fear and what HE thought about HIS freshman beginning for college. I attended a school function recently, and was involved in conversations with several parents whose kids will be entering their freshman year as a sophomore. They are proud and grateful their teenager has accomplished such a deed, but somehow as I listened, I could hear my son's voice resonate within my heart and brain. We have become so concerned about getting a jump start on our children's future that I wonder just what opportunities for growing up have been missed in our frantic pace down life's highway. Our daughter announced that the pep rally has been cancelled due to poor student participation....most of the seniors are in their community college classes, only have a couple of classes at the school or working. How sad. The big senior year has become the big chance to run ahead and start your next stepping stone. I just hope we aren't letting our teenagers go ahead so quickly that they trip on a milestone they did not even know they should recognize. Maybe the reason the suicide and depression rate is at an all time high for freshmen in college, is because they haven't had time to slow down, grow up and still be okay with it.