I've had a dry spell, but I am back.

Sorry, I have had sort of a slump with writing. I don't know if it's having a senior graduating, my age or just too busy to focus. Anyway, here I go. Do not spank your children. Have you seen the latest study? I know what you are thinking. Another stupid study. This one is serious. According to the American Pediatric Association, children who are spanked on a regular basis are 95% more likely to engage in risky behaviour, be it drugs, sex, thrill seekers, etc. Never has there been such an overwhelming percentage to support a study. Even Dr. Spock has taken back his belief. Maybe you want more information than my quick info clip, then go on line and google it and read for yourself. Now, it you have spanked your children, stop with the guilt thing right now. Get the info, make your own personal decision, if you decide your actions have been wrong....then tell your child. Ask for forgiveness. Tell them why you feel bad about doing this. Look for other means to discipline your child. Time outs worked beautifully for our two. And, yes, I spanked both of our children, once. Our son would not take a nap. I was worn out with his new baby sister. I was tired, frustrated, needed a few minutes to collect myself, but instead I spanked him and put him to bed. I regretted it and still do. I did the same with our daughter. On a Wednesday night before church, she would not get dressed for church. She was worn out, I was too worried about being on time to tell people about Jesus, so I spanked her and made her wear an outfit she hated. Of course, I won the battle, but I lost the war of being the mother I should have been to her. I have told these two stories back to our children multiple times. My daughter remembers the spanking, my son does not. But, I can remember every detail of both instances and my poor judgement. I think spankings are an easy way to demand a child to change their behaviour out of fear. I don't like the fear thing. Why? Because fear teaches mistrust. A child becomes confused as to why someone who is supposed to love me, hurts me physically. I can remember holding our son and crying after whipping his little chubby legs. He cried himself to sleep in my arms and I promised I would never touch him again. The same with our daughter. Now, I will admit teaching a toddler to obey rules that are necessary for their safety require much more skill and attention than to settle for the whop on the bottom. Time out requires our input, our commitment and consequences. Like not letting them play with a favourite toy or friend as a result of bad behaviour. Isolation to the time out chair or corner. I do not believe in sending them to their room. Their bedroom should not have the stigma of a being in trouble room. It should be peaceful, fun, safe and a place to rest and sleep. Do I believe this study? Absolutely yes. I think spanking is brutal and harmful. Did Jesus ever lay a hand on anybody? No. The worst thing he did was get angry and turn the tables over in the temple. So what about that spare the rod spoil the child verse? I don't really have an answer for that. I am glad I did not use a rod on my children, just my hand. Why? Because it made me feel. It made me realize there has to be a better way to teach my children I love them enough to never, ever lay a hand on them again while teaching them.