We are oriented.

We just returned home, last night, from our son's freshman orientation program at The University of Tennessee in Knoxville, Tn. To say it was exhausting isn't enough description. Two days of intense information, statistics, counseling, well, you get the picture. The parents were housed in the dormitories for the two night stay, DEPRESSING, SMALL, NO PRIVACY. A true wake-up for our son who cherishes his downtime, by himself. We hit the sidewalks running at 7am Wed morn. Attire included our orange name tags which indicated we were up and coming college parents whose pride and joy may soon be moved in to this massive place. We met other parents, I always meet people, and discussed various issues. Most parents were busy telling how great their child's grade point average was, how many scholarships they were offered, what sport they would be playing and what their major would be. We listened. "Did my son play Lacrosse?" No we are from Tullahoma, Tn. Sounds like a wealthy, private school sport to me and no I did not say that out loud. I wasn't happy with how unattractive the campus is. Having visited Auburn last year, UT could take a few lessons on how a college campus could look beautiful and inviting. The buildings are old, ugly, worn. Sidewalks are torn with new construction. Very few flowers dotting the walkways. No fluff for the artsy eye. In fact the campus seems like a 19 year old young man who really could be handsome, but doesn't shave his face, keep his hair neatly trimmed and wears dirty clothes. There is potential, but no one seems to care enough to make it happen. OK, I am done with that. We had sessions preparing us for the stresses and emotional aspect of starting college, by the first night, I saw the stress and heard it in my son's voice. Too much, too fast, too many, too too. We talked. He disclosed his concerns and feelings. We listened. Supported and explained this choice was completely up to him, not us. On Thursday, the second day, after a good night's sleep in the dark, depressing dorm room, we all felt better. Our son chose to eat breakfast with us, we drove through McDonald's and had more than an EggMcMuffin. We had valuable time to talk with our son, listen and see how he was really doing. My husband still can't believe teenagers talk to their parents. Anyway, it was obvious, our son wasn't too crazy about all this stuff and that is perfectly okay to feel this way. He talked. I offered complete understanding, was positive, uplifting and supportive of his feelings COMPLETELY. As we waited for the next session, he took off on foot to his destination and we to ours. "Letting go of the strings" was our session. An honest, emotional lecture by the Dean Rogers, vice chancellor of student affairs. He spoke of his 30 years experience in parent-student relationships and had some pretty sad stories of parents gone wild. Yes, I said parents gone wild. Controlling, manipulating parents who want to fit their college freshman into the money making, socially acceptable, career pathway. As we listened, I realized, I have made many a mistake with our children; however, my desire for them is to find their passion in life, ignited by God and make their decisions with my love, support and prayers for wisdom. Of course, I want our son to be successful. BUT, success isn't determined by me, money, prestige. It is determined by the condition of one's heart. Following this emotional session, there were many a parent with tears flowing down their faces. They heard the stories and could plug their name, their child into each one. I listened as mothers sat beside me and disclosed regret, hurts and shame. As one mother, in particular, fell apart with guilt, I told her a Miriam story. "I have told our children, daily, you are a gift, a present, each day holds the opportunity to make a difference to someone. Everyday is an opportunity." This mother asked me if I thought there was hope for her to repair damage done. I exclaimed, "of course.!!!! Tell your daughter the truth, tell her you are sorry, TELL HER AND SHOW HER YOUR LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HER MAJOR." She grabbed her cellphone and called her daughter to ask her to lunch. As our final day ticked along, our son finally called to say he had completed his registration process. I tell him where we are waiting for him. He says he is ready to "book it home." I completely agree and I have no idea what classes he has signed up for......I just know I can't wait to see his face and hear what he has to tell me.