They told me it was coming.

Our daughter is gone this week for Jr. Miss. My son works from 6:30am until 5:00pm and has a girlfriend. I just walked into my daughter's bedroom to breathe in her room smell which is her smell. The "Pink" perfume she sprays each day is a permanent fragrance soaked into the fibers of her room and tonight it brought me comfort. It is sort of a trial run of things to come. You know the empty nest thing since our daughter graduates next year and will heading off to college. It will be strange when both of the bedrooms are empty. I am sure it will be hard at times. I am sure I will stand in the middle of the hallway and remember listening in the dark to see if they were both still asleep when young. This time I will be standing there wondering how they are sleeping while away. I haven't been one of those moms who has tried to live through their children, trying to overcome those childhood failures....no I just allowed my daughter to buy a bikini, which I would have loved to have....I have allowed my son to choose his music without condemnation....I have realized there are goodnight kisses taken on my porch and no one is put to shame...I have given them the freedom to question my views and take their own position....even when I adamantly disagree.....I have let them sleep in...be late for school and church when worn out...I have listened to tales of excitement and thanked the Lord they are still alive....I spent too much money on clothing, birthdays, Christmas....and repainted that bedroom three times until she grew up....I've sat in the driveway, in my car, while my son blasted his electric guitar until the windows shook....waiting until he had finished playing...I've said the wrong thing at the wrong time...I've hurt their feelings... I've done too much or done too little at times...I've run to Walmart when I could have waited or forgotten something really important for their school work they asked me to buy...I've embarrassed them....I tried too hard or quit too soon....BUT tonight as I sit here listening to the silence of my daughter being gone and the conversation of my son and his girlfriend on the front porch....it occurred to me. This time has been coming. I would not want to stop it. I simply want to see it, smell it, feel it and live it. All that it is. All that it will become. All that they will become outside the Ralph Lauren blue walls of my son's room and the Turkish gold walls of my daughter's room. Maybe I'll paint my kitchen.