Made in illness

If we live long enough we will be effected by an illness of some sort. I am not talking about ordinary coughs, colds, aches, pains, but more serious, life changing processes. Being a nurse I have been called many times to offer solutions, ideas, information as to what a person may have wrong with them. I am not qualified to diagnose the problem, rather I offer concern and the qualified people to help them. I have been with dear friends that have received bad news, while others good. I told you earlier I lost my mother to breast cancer 8 years ago. Yes I was older when she died;however, the hurt was still very great. For you see my mother had this lump in her left breast for 3 years. She only told my father whom she blew it off to as just a cyst. My brother was in medical school and I was starting nursing school. I will always vividly remember the night my mom asked me to "feel this knot on my left breast". My heart sunk, for even in my young mind I knew it was bad. Just too big, too hard. I knew all the reasons. She went to the doctor the next day and was immediately sent to the hospital for xrays and scheduling for surgery. I never saw my mother cry. She was the rock of our home. The tears caused me fear, concern, and doubt. Yes, her breast was removed and months of chemo and radiation followed. Time was discussed in months due to the invasiveness of the disease. I was 18 at the time. I remember praying for God to let her be healed, saved, to live more days and years. She was spared and enjoyed many more days. She saw my children and read books to them. Played checkers in the floor. Cooked favorite foods. Made many more people feel welcome and special. I grew up from illness. I have mammograms yearly. I go to the doctor. I exercise, eat healthy. The hurt I still feel to this day is why did she not get help? Why did she not go for yearly checkups? Why did she avoid the size of the lump growing? In our families there are many different types of illnesses and problems. We cannot be helped if we do not ask. We cannot reach a hurting child if we avoid the pain. Stay in check with your family. Pay attention to details. Changes in eating habits, friends, routines, communication, grades, moods, anger, personality. Never be afraid to ask. Reach out. Be inquisitive. Do not let avoidance, reluctance, and denial cost you or someone you love days and years. It's been 25 years since I felt that "knot". I still wonder what could have happened if she had only gone for help.