Open door

Last night my husband and I were watching 60 Minutes. Among the stories was Goldie Hawn and her relationship to Kurt Russell, of 22 years. During this time they have raised 4 children, won many awards, and withstood the time of Hollywood. The thing that really amazed me was the fact they have never married. For 22 years they have existed in a relationship where she stated "the door to our love is open, not closed". She compared it to being a bird in a cage with the door open so the bird doesn't really want out because it doesn't feel closed in. Well, in my marriage I don't feel trapped. I don't feel so insecure with what I have that I must leave my door open in case I need to run out on committment, effort, time, and my family. To me Goldie is showing what the world's view of marriage is. Replaceable. Replaced with convenience, temporary if necessary, and easily bought. Just think about it. We let our children try out for a team, make the team, play for the team, become the quarterback, or the main stunt for cheerleading. Then one day it becomes hard, they are sore, tired, they want to do something else, it just isn't what they thought it would be. Do you say okay just quit? Do you say "oh we planned ahead for this". You don't need to feel committed to your team or your coach. We want you to feel free, not closed in. I promise. It won't take too long before people know your child cannot be counted on and will not be given leadership or opportunities. Sounds so trivial doesn't it? Are we teaching the world that because marriage may be difficult, not exactly fluff and cotton candy, we need the door to stay open so we can run out? Does it make it less hurtful if you don't have to turn the knob to walk out? Are we so afraid of committment that we want to loop hole to walk through? I know what Goldie is saying. She has already had 2 bad experiences with marriages so with this third try she will take the cake and leave the carrots. The 60 minute guy said their children are some of the most well adjusted Hollywood kids out there. I wonder what adjusted means? Maybe when their life becomes difficult they will "adjust the rules" so they don't feel ...... anything at all. Afterall we wouldn't want someone to feel closed in would we?