Bleachers

We attend football games as part of our hometown activities. It is like popcorn at the movies. Friday night and football. Parents, young people, students, fans, opposing visitors. The central focus is the green field with hashmarks. Players lined up on each side of the field. Referees watching the ball, keeping the yards straight, moving the chains of the downs. A great time for socializing, visiting, talking, catching up and being outside under sparklng skies. Students can hang out with friends they haven't seen all week and talk about their stuff. I have always told my kids that the back of the bleachers is off limits. It is dark and hidden from the public view and offers opportunities for trouble. Last night at the game, my daughter was walking around with her friends and they were going to the other side of the field. I did not think much of it because they were in view. After a few minutes, she came back to her dad and me, without her buddies. I felt something was wrong by the flushed look on her face, but did not pursue the issue. In a few minutes her buddies came back to her. After the game, on the way home, she told me what happened. Her guy friends wanted to go the other side to "DIP". These boys have just recently been in trouble with other issues and experimentation. Just being boys everybody says. I HATE THIS STATEMENT. This is a cop-out excuse for poor control, poor impulses, sneaking, cheating and habit forming. BOYS WILL BE BOYS. I hate this statement. How humiliating that we parents expect this type of behaviour from our future young men. How degrading that we parents justify harming the physical safety of our children. Would a coach say to a player, "Well, I am going to teach you how to play this sport, but I expect you to fail, mess up, do something stupid, become worse rather than improve, not know what to do, because that is just what players do." If that came out of a coach's mouth, parents would have that coach's job in two seconds. NO DIFFERENCE. We parents need to expect the best from our children. Mistakes will be made, that is a definite in life. Excuses, acceptance, are not part of my game plan. LOVE is the answer. Love hopes for the best, wants the best, protects, provides, maintains, depends on, trusting, open, honest, real, patient, available, caring, clear, boundaries, consequences, a committment. Love is knowing that the game is being played off the field everyday and everynight. Have you looked behind the bleachers? We better step out of the stands.