I choose my sin

My husband and I always have interesting conversations about everything. Each topic isn't without strong opinions, feelings and dogmatic ground. This morning was not different. On Saturday mornings we have a few minutes to talk before he goes to work. It is usually around our kitchen table. I was expressing my opinion about particular people and he tells me that I am sure not Jesus. Jesus chose to seek out the lowly and secretive sinners whose crimes were so dirty they were hidden. Sure it is easy to ask forgiveness for the acceptable sins. Gossip, anger, isolation, unforgiveness to others, resentment, jealously, you get the picture. What about the sins that are hidden neatly away in darkness, loneliness, long dark roads, within the walls of a home, within the walls of a heart, within the madness of the mind, within groups of people sworn to deceit? Drug addictions within people you could never imagine. Innocent children forced to find their way when parents are incapable of seeing. Families torn apart from affairs, embarrassing the vows of comittmment. The abuse of alcohol, thus withdrawing from the public, afraid of outbursts. Confusion, no protection. Spending money on habits when shoes need to be purchased. Important functions missed when the view of the world was clouded. Children searching the stands for the sight of their loved one. Heads dropped low when their heart knows the answer. Insecurity when forced to depend on such an indiviual. Life skills learned from early on. Sins are sins and yes they are. A sin is a choice when two paths are produced. Forgiveness the same for all who will ask. God isn't prejudice or limited on who he will hear. Yet, sin has a splattering that splashes innocent faces, burning the skin that should be whole for protection. Each time the wound goes deeper and deeper. Soon just the thought of the hurt causes the pain. Perfect, I am not, far from the course. Aware, yes I am of the consequences of some. I am not Jesus, my husband is right. Some places I cannot go because I know of the darkness. Afraid, yes I am for the ones who don't see. Others faults are bright, opened up for the world to view. Jesus, could see, could feel the lies and deceit. He spoke with such honesty people would shake. How did he know of the closet that was hidden. How did he know of the people that are hurt. Yes, I choose my sin each and everyday. I choose to know where I should and should not go. I choose to teach my children about life. I choose to love and forgive or repent and be right. People choose where paint will splatter. Small drops soon cover the canvas.