Helping your daughter handle social disappointments.

My daughter wasn't invited to a social event that included her closest friends. As she told me about it, in the car, on the way home, I listened. She wasn't really angry or hurt, just confused. She wondered how it happened or why they did not invite her. This is a major maturity issue with girls. Becoming mature enough to handle being left out is quite a stretch. The first thing I said to her was, to not take it personally. This is hard. We women take so much personally and at 15, everything can seem personal. But, this is where the mom comes in. I try to downplay the seriousness of these social things. Life cannot be based on social events, life cannot be one big party; however, with that statement, I also appreciate my daughter being included in things as well. Balance. Girls need to learn to fend for themselves. They need to have a class without all their friends. Learn to talk to others out of their social circle. Girls need to feel rejection and disappointment, then find an inner peace and strength, knowing they can continue being the same person regardless of invites. This is extremely important. We mothers have a big job here. We need to listen, support and offer confidence that our daughter's are more than being included everytime. There is beauty in being left out. At the end of the day, I want my daughter to have been true to herself, finding things to occupy her bright mind, reading a book, making jewerly, missing a few text messages or phone calls and being comfortable. She must find out she can simply be. No party. No drama. No plans. And..still be, herself. She will learn her contentment must not be placed in the hands of others. It is much too valuable for regrets only.