Red Velvet Cake.

My son is on his way home from college for a few days. Their fall break starts tomorrow and he is headed home as I write. He loves red velvet cake and a couple of years ago there was the most wonderful red velvet cake at my brother's home that we loved eating while enjoying the Christmas season with family. I have tried on many an occasion to duplicate this recipe. I have used two or three different recipes hoping one of them will turn out to be the one we love. Well, since my son is coming home I am trying it one more time. Another recipe. My sweet daughter jumped in to help me. The ingredients all mixed together nicely and the batter tasted quite well. We agreed it was missing a little something I realized I had left out baking soda and vinegar. Once these were added the batter tasted even better. When the cakes came out of the oven I left them to cool and pulled out my beautiful cake platter my sister gave me for Christmas. With the creme cheese icing waiting to be spread unto the cake we were ready. I lightly shook the cake pans to loosen up the cake and place each layer carefully onto the plate to be iced. The first layer did not want to let go so it split....the second layer the same thing. As my daughter tried to make the best out of the cake situation she remarked "usually these are the cakes that taste the best mom." I appreciated her upbeat attitude her glass is always half full not half empty. She spread that icing over the mound of jumbled cake smiling the whole time and the end result was this volcano looking explosion of a cake on top of the beautiful crystal cake plate. I have no idea how it is going to be when we try to cut our pieces or even if it will taste good. But, I did remember my son likes red velvet cake or one like the lady in Decatur, Alabama made. I do wish I had her recipe, but I am thankful to have spent a few cherished moments in the kitchen with my delightful daughter who loves to lick the beaters when finished and scrape the bowl. And I am thankful that no matter how bad this cake looks or even tastes....my son is headed home for a few days of rest...and my daughter is home. And that is my special recipe...both kids home for a few days....no more ingredients are necessary.

Fresh chalk on a clean board.

My alarm goes off way too early on the days I have to work. 5:30 am. I always hit the snooze button one time to get 10 more minutes of sleep. I hear my coffee maker on it's final drip of coffee brewing and I start my day. "Lord this is another day you have given me. I want to use it completely for you. I want to be the person you need me to be. I want to be the woman, mother, friend, nurse, co-worker, every aspect of my life I give to you. I give this day completely to your purpose and will for my life." Then I slip my toes out of the cover to hit the floor. Two cups of coffee while reading my favourite devotions on Crosswalk.com and my day is ready to begin. Once I clock in at the hospital there is little time to anything other than focusing on my job as a surgical nurse. But, this much I do know. I have started many days with such a heavy heart, burdened, overwhelmed and wondering how on earth to get through a challenging day...and when I give God my everything...everything I am not, I am, hope to be and want to be...He is faithful to meet me right at my alarm clock and take over. I invite His divine presence into my day regardless of where my circumstances may place me I give thanks. I know that He cares for me and is waiting for my morning stress call. He is waiting there with his arms and hands open to take everything I give him so I can get out of bed and walk freely in his grace, mercy and forgiveness. It reminds me of when I was in first grade and my teacher would let students wash the chalk board at the end of the day so it would be fresh and clean for the next school day. The board would be grey looking with all the chalk dust and even the eraser would not get the residue off....but when you added water to a towel...the board would look brand new. A deep color of black...clean and clear for a new day of school work. That is our grace everyday. By night time our chalkboards have become pretty dusty. We have scribbled, erased..well we tried to erase, crossed out, or even started a new problem in the corner. Our sweet Jesus offers us the water that will wash every little bit of residue from our chalkboards. He will wipe the slate clean so we can start all over. He will dust us off, rinse us clean and then hand us a brand new piece of chalk each morning. So when your alarm clock goes off...remember to say thank you, to give God your chalk board for the day and then accept His fresh clean board with a new stick of chalk before your toes ever touch the floor.

Four cans and the future.

I remember when I found the four cans of Budweiser in the back seat of my car. I was embarrassed. You see my parents had come to spend the weekend with us in our cute, blue country cottage nestled between the hills at the end of a winding driveway. My seat had been laid down as it was a red Celica sport coupe. As I raised the seat for my dad to sit in the back....there they were. Four cans still fastened together with the plastic rings. I was humiliated. Shocked. I knew the cans were not mine, but my mind could not reason how those cans of beer had come to be in the backseat of my car. I stumbled out a few awkward words and quickly tossed the cans into the trash. My parents did not say a word as we drove to the local Shoney's to eat the famous breakfast bar. My mother always loved Shoney's and Cracker Barrel. I could feel their concern as my red car winded down the knobby roads of Union Hill. Union Hill the place where I grew up. The place where we came to live once we were married. The morning wasn't ruined. I made small talk and we enjoyed our time together. I still was trying to make sense of the four cans of beer. You see I had never even purchased a can of beer much less put it in my car. Returning home my parents packed their bags and headed back to their home. My father always had to preach on Sunday's so a weekend visit was really just a Friday night trip and half of Saturday. I remember my mother telling me that she prayed for me and my husband everyday. I knew that. She told me she wanted us to be the people God wanted us to be. My dad always cried when he left me. I waved from my country porch realizing those four cans of beer would eventually hold our future. I remember my husband had driven my car that week and then the truth became blurred. Surely, he would not be drinking. Surely not in my car. Surely, no way. Of course, when I asked him he denied the cans were his. I know now when someone you love feels they must hide the obvious truth.....there is a problem. Being young and naive...I wanted to believe my husband...but time would prove those first four cans of Budweiser hidden in my backseat were the first sign of my husband's secret....alcoholism. A secret he had hidden from parents, coaches, teachers, friends, and now me...his wife. If someone you love is hiding something....there is something seriously wrong. Lift up your backseat and see it. Ask. Know the truth and do not avoid the hard issues.....because one day it could mean you can no longer find the person who has been hiding their secrets for so long.

My money tips.

1. Cook for your family. The food is better. The atmosphere better for conversation with your family. You can use leftovers for another meal. And no matter what people say...you may can eat out cheaper, but is it really worth it in the long run.
2. Plan your menu for one week. Take your menu to the store and purchase what you need to cook those meals. Stick to your menu.
3. If cooking is a real struggle for you stop complaining and try. Look on line for simple recipes to start out with like baked chicken. You can even print the recipe off and take it to the store. Honestly, anyone can cook it just takes time and practice and even if you are working 80 hours a week stressed to the max..you can try crock pot recipes that cook themselves.
4. Stop shopping in name brand stores for clothing. If your kids need back to school clothing...look online first and start pricing things. Have a list of what they need. Search online first. Why? Your time is worth money. You spend gas money driving to another town. You spend money on food while shopping. You can even find online stores that don't charge tax or shipping and they offer free returns. My daughter likes to try clothes on at home and this has saved hurt feelings and embarrassment from trying on in a public dressing room. That's priceless.
5. I buy all my clothes at Goodwill, yard sales, consignment shops. I spent 100.00 and got 12 super nice pieces of clothing that would have cost 400.00 full price or more. Nice brands like J.Crew, Banana Republic, Gap, Ann Taylor, you get the picture.
6. I take all my extra change and put it in a large water container and when it gets too heavy to pick up I take it to the bank and put it in my kids savings acct. You cannot believe how quick your change adds up.
7. I do not get my hair done. I cut my own hair. Maybe this really is important to you and if so you can go get cheaper cuts for a reasonable price. I just pay myself and 40.00 every few weeks adds up.
8. I network for everything. Carpet cleaning, car maintenance, painting, service work on our appliances. I ask people who they use and their cost. It pays to ask people for advice and I find that you find the honest businesses this way.
9. Give your kids an allowance early. Teach them the value of saving, spending, tithing, budgeting. I opened them up a checking and savings acct. The money goes in their acct the first of the month. It doesn't have to pay for everything. I didn't want them to think I will never pay for anything they need anymore. I just wanted them to learn how to balance their acct, see were money goes and empower them by learning control.
10. Save for good stuff. I wanted a nice leather living room set of furniture. I looked for 3 years to find exactly what I wanted. You may say that I am crazy, but I still love this furniture today. I don't regret the style or the money I spent because I waited and was sure. Buyers remorse comes from making impulsive, quick, gotta have instant gratification and it will quickly put you in the negative if you keep it up.

When you're tired of pitching your life in that black hole...let me know.

If someone you love is addicted to drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling..whatever life controlling issue...let me explain the black hole theory. Until your loved one wants to change his/her life....until their current life is no longer working...until life becomes so unbearable that change is necessary...until your loved one gives up completely for transformation...you might as well be throwing pennies into a black hole. If you think for one minute that you can decide to reach back down into that hole and get your pennies back....well think again. They are gone. You see the addict does not have the ability to see what the problem is doing to themselves much less the people in their life. The disease controls their heart, mind, soul, eyes and ears. You cannot reason with, beg with, argue with, talk with, be with or even exist with the addict. I have stood outside that black hole. I have pitched my loose change into it, I have thrown my life savings into it, I have given my heart and every ounce of love left for my loved one...only to realize my pockets are empty. It is a process I must say. You cannot overnight decide to stop visiting the black hole. You have to come to that point much like the addict...when the pain of staying in the sickness of the relationship is greater than the feared changes or unknown outcome. This I do know..my God has plans for my life. He knew I would face the demon of addiction with my loved one. He knew, He knows, He cares, He is standing there beside me at the black hole....searching my face to see if I am ready to stop pitching my soul into that dark abscess. He offers a place to put my hurts and sorrows where the light can shine on them and make them less threatening and confusing. He will take whatever I throw Him and catch it with His unending love, mercy and grace. You see He knows what it means to throw your life into the darkest corner of the world...He died on the cross for sins and everyone else who asks to be forgiven. Today...my pockets are not empty. In fact, I haven't reached into them for quite some time. I have backed away from that deep, scary hole of trying to pull a loved out of the darkness. I am choosing to stand in the light beside my Saviour who has two hands waiting to take everything I give Him and give me more than I could ever imagine back. Peace.

This companion has four legs.

I decided I should clean out my refrigerator while watching the New York Jets vs Minnesota Vikings Monday night football game. Bruno, our famous rat terrier was asleep in my lap, so I just scooted him over to the side of the chair so I could get up. He did not seem to mind too much...just turned his head to look at me then laid it back down. I started the necessary task of taking everything off of the glass shelves so I could remove them and wash them. I was so busy I had not noticed something. I looked over the top of my kitchen table to see a familiar set of black tipped over ears sitting atop the most sincere pair of brown eyes. Bruno had come to the kitchen. I said his name out loud and he glanced down as if to say...."well I thought I might as well come in here with you so you aren't alone." I stopped to realize, once again, how truly special this creature is. I went back to my work and suddenly I did not seem to mind the job as much. As I finished each shelve I could look back to see my buddy watching every move I made...never moving from his soothing sitting position on his muscular legs. Once complete the refrigerator glowed all nice and clean. Bruno seemed to remark as well....wondering if I was finished with my work. With my daughter gone to a football party I am aware of how empty this house could seem with my son away in college, but thanks to a special four legged fellow....I have a buddy no matter what room I go to. And just as mild mannered as he may seem...he is in constant charge of the yard. As I put up the last container he whined to go outside and as soon as he hit the ground he was barking and fussing about something that must have crossed our beloved yard while he oversaw the refrigerator cleaning. Why can't two legged people get it? The craving for companionship is so evident in our world. Someone to watch a mundane task to offer comfort during the task. Someone to be there, just be there. Many times words don't even need to be spoken, just the presence. Just knowing that this friend with the black tipped over ears and the warmest brown eyes decided to leave his warm, comfortable chair to come sit on the hard kitchen floor to be with me.....well....I'll make sure he gets two pieces of cheese tonight.

When the airbag light is on.

God teaches me lessons everyday. Today was no exception. I struggle with fear. Fear of getting lost in a car. Fear of losing control of a situation. Fear of making a wrong choice. Fear of not knowing the truth. FEAR. In my new Bible study, "Overcoming our hurts, habits and hangups" I am learning how much I need God. Back to the airbag situation...my daughter's airbag light came on in her car. I called the mechanic about it and he explained that a computer machine has to be connected to it to diagnose the problem or cause. I made an appt to get it checked and then the immediate fear thing started. It the light is on it means the airbags will not work. I start into the automatic be in control of everything Mom cycle. I start doing the what if thing. I start thinking about a wreck happening. I start getting overcome with anxiety. I am losing it. "For God did not give a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. II Timothy 1:7. Why do I become so fearful? What am I really afraid of? What has happened to me to make this happen? Why cannot I not stop fear? God is working on me. He has begun a work in me that isn't finished. He has a plan for me. He knew I was going to struggle with fear...long before I was even born. He knew things would happen to me or around me that would effect my understanding of control. HE KNEW. I CAN LET GO. What happens if I let go? Will I be shocked? Will I be disappointed? Will I make it? Will I feel guilty? Will I feel like..... I made an appt to get the airbag light checked on. It isn't an instant fix. It doesn't solve the problem right now. I cannot make the airbag problem go away myself. BUT, I can take the car to the right mechanic...let him hook his computer up to it and decide what the problem is...give me the answer and then tell me how much it cost to repair it. I can also give God my fear today, take my heart to Him, let Him see what the problem is....and then tell me IT IS FREE TO REPAIR IT. But, I must let go and trust him with it. Is your airbag light on?

A volunteer weekend.

This weekend we went to the UT/Auburn game in Knoxville, Tn. We met my son at the famous Torch to get our tickets. It was a beautiful Tennessee weekend that can only be understood by those who have lived here and learned to appreciate the fresh, crisp blue skies of October and the mountain air that blows from the East Tennessee hills. It is such a privilege to be involved in this passage of parenthood. As we sat on the steps waiting for my son I felt such a sense of thankfulness to be here, in the place, in this stage of my life as a mother. I have pulled for this Volunteer team since a small child. My father was a school teacher in Huntland, he taught History and Science and his love for this tradition grew from knowing and teaching the Tennessee family of Majors' kids. I remember listening to his stories of taking the Huntland kids on trips to Washington and watching those Majors' boys play football at Huntland. As we sat with my son in the outrageous student section I found such a surreal peace and enjoyment being there. It seemed so right of a place to be. Meeting some of my son's friends, feeling the excitement of a new football year with a new coach, realizing my daughter will be there soon. Feeling so thankful to be able to share this time with my kids. As we held onto the hope that our Volunteer's could pull out a victory....I realized many victories have already been won. I am able to enjoy a beautiful weekend with my kids. I can see, hear, walk long distances, yell, be excited, be sad, be involved, be alive. What a wonderful memory to be on the end of the row...watching friends come to see my daughter and be excited about her coming here one day...seeing my son wearing his late grandfather's orange shirt from 1962....remembering my dad telling me "the Volunteer's are on TV today and we are going to watch them." And I am still watching them. A tradition I have grown to love dearly and it is getting better all the time.

.He will provide.

Someone...somewhere needs to hear...
Words of truth, comfort so clear.
Someone..somewhere is struggling..wondering..
Just like a present dropped out of the car
Wind has blown it, feet have kicked it, rain has stained
The once pretty package all trimmed and tied.
Life has been hard, hurtful, full of selfish pride.
Edges are worn thin, raw aches from within.
Someone...somewhere needs to hear..
That love isn't bought, sought or lost...
That love offers freedom right in the midst..
of mud, trash, messes, regrets and dispair
Forgiveness when all has gone bad.
Forgiveness when all have closed their door.
Forgiveness when all seems out of reach.
Someone..somewhere needs to hear..
Hope springs eternal from the One who offers mercy.
Hope fills the cracks as large as the sea.
Hope brightens the dark when light cannot be seen.
Someone...somewhere needs to hear..
Fear can be chased far..far away with true joy.
Peace can rule among the tossing waves.
Goodness can touch the parts of life no one knows but....
A caring, compassionate Saviour who felt the liberating touch of his Father's hand...
Reaching far beyond our ability to understand.
Someone...somewhere needs to hear...
See
Know
Life....
Through the eyes of the One offering freedom.

I'll not take my eyes off no matter if it is a shunk.

This morning was pretty stressful. I was awakened at 3am with the strong odor of skunk pouring through the air vents in my bedroom. As I stumbled out of a deep sleep I realized my male dog Bruno was having a fit barking in the backyard. I turned over and pulled the covers over my nose hoping the smell would diminish, Bruno would stop barking and I could return to blessed sleep. Not a chance. The smell became even stronger and Bruno was more determined than ever to run something or someone off. I pulled myself out of bed to see what was happening. The flood lights in the back yard gave no clue and I could see Bruno barking towards the edge of the woods. I walked around to the garage door and BAM the smell almost took my breath. The skunk had been in my garage!!! Both of my dogs are soaked with the skunk smell and now my kitchen is flooded with this horrible odor. I shut the dogs in the garage hoping to stop the incessant barking, wander back into the bedroom and attempt to find that perfect sleep I had been having. It was not going to happen due to the strong odor. I tossed. I turned. I watched the clock tick away at my fainting hours of morning sleep realizing my alarm would go off soon. I got up. Got ready. My car smelled so badly I rode with the windows down to survive. My day kept on going. I worked hard. In the back of my mind I kept thinking about the skunk smell and wondered if it would be gone. I struggle with my faith. I struggle with trusting God with outcomes, decisions, waiting, wanting, wondering. This evening as I finished up the yard work..I could still smell the skunk odor coming from my garage. I realize it is going to linger for several days and my dogs are going to require several specials baths to get the smell off of them. I know exactly what to expect with this skunk business. God is like the skunk smell. Sometimes we feel his presence so strongly that it overwhelms us, causes us to tremble. Other times it may not be a strong, just a faint presence we are aware of if we are paying attention. Then there are the times when we start to question if he is there. Maybe it is our circumstances, Maybe it is the condition of our heart. Maybe we are angry, depressed, resentful, sick, hurt, or even void of emotions. This is where the skunk comes in. We all recognize the smell. We all know what the skunk will do if bothered. God is powerful. God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He never changes or leaves us. He will not forsake us. He will take our tears, our joys, our sorrow, our hurts, our happiness our complete life and love us right where we are. And when you are about to give up because life has been tough and your faith is fading......well go smell a skunk and remember GOD is strong forever....nothing can wash him away....nothing....

What a short run...her senior year.

The ruffled hair bouncing around her face. The pink Cinderella dress I thought she would never stop wearing. The endless hairbands around her wrists and ankles. Trying to find "soft pants that don't rub my waist, momma." Certain Ked shoes that Clayton's Shoe Store only carried. Bright colored coats, backpacks and gloves. Humming while doing homework or playing. Jumping on the trampoline until exhausted. Painting her friends fingernails. Teaching her imaginary class in her bedroom. Clothes from Limited Too. I can still see that little girl walking down the hall for her first day of kinder garden. She wore a black Gap dress with a matching headband. We curled her hair on the pink sponge rollers and it literally was going everywhere...she did not like it combed when taken down....so we did not comb it. Her picture from that day is one of my favourite. I remember her teacher telling me how Grace hummed during quiet time and how soothing it was. I remember when she turned a cartwheel in class because she forgot she couldn't. The red sparkly shoes her aunt gave her....I became the mother of the girl who wears the Dorothy shoes to school. She still sings and paints her nails with bright colors. Her clothes are different than others. Her jewelry....who knows. Her hair still everywhere..usually a messy bun or perfectly straight with a slight curl. Her room smells of pink perfume. Everything in it's place. I'm not sure how we have come to this time...it has been such a short run. I'm going to cherish every inch of this time. Listen longer. Soak it all in. Realizing this time, next year....she will be packing her stuff...organizing her plan....coordinating her colors and going off to college. My, it has been a short run. I have not even lost my breath....until now.

It's gonna be tough.

It's that time of year again. Young people getting ready to start college or young people heading back for another year of it. I sit here tonight, alone, that is, physically. My daughter has gone to tell her boyfriend since 7th grade goodbye. He is leaving for college tomorrow and since she will be in school, this is their last chance to say their words. My son leaves in two weeks. Change is such a wonderful, exhausting thing isn't it? My daughter's friend has been coming in and out of our doors for six years, when I asked my daughter what she will miss the most.....the random chances to see him. Random will no longer be apart of their relationship....their visits will be planned around his football, her school, distance and family. This time next year I will be getting both of my kids ready for college. So what great words of wisdom and comfort do I have to offer tonight? Well, for one... I am thankful to sad that my daughter's boyfriend is leaving for college...that means I like him, he is kind and respectful to my daughter and I think she has been good for him. Well, for two....I am glad to be around to experience these changes that cause a mother's heart to hurt for those she loves....there are many children who don't have their mom. Well, for third....I'm glad it makes me sad to think of my son returning to college in two weeks...that means he has been a joy to have home...not a problem. Well, for fourth...I am blessed to have a daughter who is such a special fairy duster....she loves with her whole heart...cares about other people's story...is loyal...and has made a difference in her fellow's life. And, for fifth....it's gonna be tough...there will be tears shed, already shed, over this new place called college..there will loneliness...emptiness at times...a longing for a random visit...it's gonna hurt. But, along the way...love can find a way to be more than distance or time away...and remembering why is what softens the toughness of a broken heart.

The tenacity of Lizzie.

A bird was trapped in my garage last week and our two rat terriers had it treed in the window sill. Now, Bruno, the male dog was pretty upset..barking, frustrated that this critter was in his garage...but now Lizzie...she was MAD. Lizzie is the girl rat terrier. Anyway, I was talking on my cell phone in my car watching all of this transpire when all of a sudden Lizzie jumps onto my multiple window screens taken out for the summer. As she rocks back and forth, balancing on those window screens, she never takes her eyes off of the bird. She gathers all her strength, balance and tenacity to reach one foot up unto the window sill and then clime up to eat the bird. I jump out of my car to save the panting bird by grabbing Lizzie just as she manages one foot up on the sill. I am amazed at her intensity and determination. I carry her into the house so the poor bird can maybe find it's way out of the garage. We people need a little rat terrier in us at times. With all the bad news, economy, jobs, insurance, housing market, violence, it is easy to take our eyes off of the real prize....unlike Lizzie. Not matter how uncertain her perch was on top of the window screens she felt like she could get to that bird if she kept her eyes on the prize, instead of her situation. This world is full of temporary troubles and issues. The temporary may even seem permanent, but Jesus calls us out to be separate from all this stuff. We are more than the economy would have us believe. We are to be concerned with today and what we are doing than to be fixated on tomorrow and it's worries. The bird finally made it's way out of the garage. I let Lizzie out after a couple of hours in the house and you know what...she carefully crept around my car to peek up at the window and see if her prized bird catch was still there. Her ears went up then down when she realized the feathered fellow was gone. Then, she turned to go eat a few bites of dog food. No sense it letting a bird getting away ruin your day. After all, she knew there would be another chance one day and she would be ready. Try rocking on the window screens to get your foot on the window sill without taking your eyes off of your destination....you just might get somewhere.

We

We

The briar got my leg, but the one in my hand I missed.

Friday, I worked in the yard all day. It was beautiful and I love doing it. I mowed so my son would have a break since he worked overtime at his job. I pulled weeds in my flower beds, trimmed bushes, trimmed plants. I decided to move a bird feeder to a new place. I chose the tree over my rock flower bed. As I stretched to place the feeder up in the tree, I felt a sharp pain in my leg, the rose bush had gotten me and was eating my skin. I carefully stepped back but the briars were caught and cut my leg. I finally pulled my leg loose so I could continue on with the bird feeder placement. Once done I looked down and blood was running down my leg, not too much, but noticeable. I wiped it off with a paper towel and kept on working. Saturday morning after returning from Zumba, I was washing my hands when I noticed there was a sore, bump on my hand. I looked carefully and spotted a black Brier embedded. I quickly removed it and soon the bump and the soreness was gone. Funny isn't it? I knew the damage done to my leg because it instantly caused me pain and I could see the evidence of torn skin with briar's digging in. I never noticed the briar in my hand because it wasn't as severe but it was promising to give me problems if not removed. Sin is like the hand briar. Satan doesn't want sin to hurt us immediately. He wants doing good to hurt us and shock us when things don't turn out like we expected. He wants us to notice everything else going wrong while he sneaks around to the side and snags us. We did not see it coming and were really too busy to notice what has happened. It isn't until we start trying to do things, that we feel the hurt, the damage, the injury to our shield. And, unless we act quickly to remove it.....it festers up, kills the good stuff and requires more than neosporin and a band aid. You know, I got that briar when I was pulling the others off of my leg. You know, we make those mistakes or keep doing that same stupid sin thing even though it is eventually going to hurt us and others. Why not, next time, I'm going to hang that bird feeder on a different limb....farther away from the rose bush briar's.

They told me it was coming.

Our daughter is gone this week for Jr. Miss. My son works from 6:30am until 5:00pm and has a girlfriend. I just walked into my daughter's bedroom to breathe in her room smell which is her smell. The "Pink" perfume she sprays each day is a permanent fragrance soaked into the fibers of her room and tonight it brought me comfort. It is sort of a trial run of things to come. You know the empty nest thing since our daughter graduates next year and will heading off to college. It will be strange when both of the bedrooms are empty. I am sure it will be hard at times. I am sure I will stand in the middle of the hallway and remember listening in the dark to see if they were both still asleep when young. This time I will be standing there wondering how they are sleeping while away. I haven't been one of those moms who has tried to live through their children, trying to overcome those childhood failures....no I just allowed my daughter to buy a bikini, which I would have loved to have....I have allowed my son to choose his music without condemnation....I have realized there are goodnight kisses taken on my porch and no one is put to shame...I have given them the freedom to question my views and take their own position....even when I adamantly disagree.....I have let them sleep in...be late for school and church when worn out...I have listened to tales of excitement and thanked the Lord they are still alive....I spent too much money on clothing, birthdays, Christmas....and repainted that bedroom three times until she grew up....I've sat in the driveway, in my car, while my son blasted his electric guitar until the windows shook....waiting until he had finished playing...I've said the wrong thing at the wrong time...I've hurt their feelings... I've done too much or done too little at times...I've run to Walmart when I could have waited or forgotten something really important for their school work they asked me to buy...I've embarrassed them....I tried too hard or quit too soon....BUT tonight as I sit here listening to the silence of my daughter being gone and the conversation of my son and his girlfriend on the front porch....it occurred to me. This time has been coming. I would not want to stop it. I simply want to see it, smell it, feel it and live it. All that it is. All that it will become. All that they will become outside the Ralph Lauren blue walls of my son's room and the Turkish gold walls of my daughter's room. Maybe I'll paint my kitchen.

I would rather have concrete than ant hills.

Last night I was watering my flowers, around 8 pm. With the porch lights on I could see two massive ant hills that had formed on our brick patio. Slightly irritated I decided I would attend to them after the watering was finished. When all was watered I quickly turned my hose to power spray and washed the ant hills away. The sand and ants washed down the bricks into the grass. My best dog ever, Bruno was quite amazed as he had noticed the ant hills and had been sniffing them earlier. To his surprise the critters were no longer able to be sniffed. I finished up. Coiling the hose up neatly. Checking the dogs water. Putting a little dog food out for their midnight snack.....when suddenly it hit me. I looked through the den windows looking at the warm glow of our golden walls and table lamps lit. I saw my daughter watching TV. I could hear the low sounds of my son playing his electric guitar. The water washed the ant hills completely away. There wasn't anything that could protect those millions of critters home from being destroyed. Nothing. Our home was built 13 years ago. I remember being so excited when they poured the footers of concrete and we could actually tell which way it was sit on the lot. I remember the wooden rafters taking shape and the walls appearing. Tile floors, hardwoods, big windows to let the outside in. But, not one thing in the physical structure can protect us from the storms of life. And storms are going to come. Let the love of Jesus flow from your rooms. Offer unconditional love. Speak the truth. Show forgiveness when it really is a sacrifice. Place loving boundaries for your family so your children will know they matter. Fill each room with thanksgiving, praise, hope and trust. Don't let your circumstances determine your happiness or contentment. And if there is a tornado someday, when the sirens go off, we will wait in our designated bathroom for the storm to pass. And when the storms of life blow through....we will trust the water hose won't blast our foundation. We did not build our home on the sand.

Where are your investments being deposited?

Barbara Bush was quoted as saying, "At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or parent." It is so difficult to cherish our human relationships and connections. Our time is taken over with careers, social activities, agendas, and personal goals. A life without sincere relationships limits what we do as individuals. We may succeed in society's eyes, but the true meaning to success cannot be measured by a paycheck. It is measured by taking time to make someone feel special. Making effort to meet one's needs without concern for anything in return. Today's economy has taken people's investments down to the lowest point ever, causing concern and stress. We do not have control on the Dow market, but we do choose each day to matter to someone or not. What's in your heart right now? Do the people who know you the best wonder how you feel about them? Do your children hold unto your leg while you cook supper, start another load of laundry, organize your closet? When was the last time your teenager had a conversation with you without an interruption? Where is your relationship with your husband or wife going? Make time for those who add meaning to your life. Make time. Don't wait. Do it now. Decide what is really important to you because doing nothing is actually a withdrawal from an account that will change people's life.

They can ride the waves out.

We made our annual summer trip to Destin this past week. It was a girl trip. My daughter took three of her good friends and two of the moms went as well. The week was one of the most beautiful weeks I have spent on the white sandy beaches during our 23 years of going. The May breeze was still blowing and the ocean was clear like the Maui waters. Our children have grown up on this treasure of God's creation. The excitement of ocean critters, crabbing, deep sea fishing, boogie boarding and sand castle building are simply a given when we head down south. On Wednesday afternoon, a thunderstorm blew in. The rain continued off and on throughout the night, but we awoke to those famous blue skies and sunshine on Thursday morning. My son and daughter have ridden the waves all of their life. With their dad teaching them the techniques of understanding the pulse of the ocean...they are skilled swimmers as well as surfers. On Thursday morning our beach guards put out the red flag meaning NO SWIMMING!!! The riptide was very strong due to the storm from the night before. My daughter was crushed. She wanted so desperately to ride the waves with her boogie board. As the morning passed it became evident the riptide was diminishing and the guards were letting swimmers venture into the water. My daughter grabbed her board and was off with a couple of her friends. I sat in my beach chair watching her fearlessly swim to the first set of waves, excitedly, waiting to catch a big one. Her friends were timid, uncertain. This was not familiar territory for them. My daughter has spent many a hour riding these waves with her brother who is two years older. I can vividly remember a fall break trip, she has a picture on her dresser, when the two of them literally rode the waves from 10 in the morning to 6 at night. I still see their brown bodies with the sun setting in the background and the two boogie boards bouncing in the water. They always have enjoyed the ocean together. As my mind returned to the present, I noticed one of the girls was returning to the beach, she explained the water was too strong and she was slammed into the sand. Spitting salt water, she returned to her beach towel, she was done for the day.The girls were worried about crabs biting them, sharks in the water, jelly fish, seaweed, the list was endless. As my eyes returned to find my daughter's head cutting through the waves, I realized the ocean is a place of freedom, not fear, for our children. They have learned to appreciate the ocean and all it's mystical powers. I hear my daughter laughing as the wave she is riding in comes crashing into the shore. She stops and looks back at me...her smile says it all. She calls to her friends on the shore...they shake their heads. The waves do not offer the same fun for them. Quickly, she turns and swims back to catch the next wave. There isn't a reason to fear....she has learned to respect and appreciate the ocean and all of it's beauty.